Day 14

It has been 13 days since I started writing this daily blog. It is very difficult to think of a particular title everyday and then stick to it. Since i started it as a daily challenge, I would only number the days completed.

It was a funny day. I woke up beaming today, full of smiles. I had an exam which I was not much prepared for but that is how they usually go. Rest of the day was full of incidents, not many but a lot at the same time. 

I was watching this episode of ‘zindagi gulzar hai’, it is daily soap kind of thing but it has only one season with 20 plus episodes. I enjoy it because it is closer to life and relates to so many things we face in everyday living. Kashaf (the lead) tells her sister that ‘ zindagi ki azaishyen (mushkil) hain ki khatam hi nhi hoti, har baar ek nayi musibat, jab bhi pichli khatam hoti hai toh lagta hai ab zindagi asan ho jayegi lekin zindagi hai ki kabhi asan hoti hi nahi hai.’ It is so true, I may not be quoting her verbatim but I cannot put it in more beautiful words than she did. 

We take life as life and we wait for it to get smooth but it never does because it is life. I can relate to almost everything Kashaf  feels in that show ( expect for, in the  post marriage scenario). 

Exam pressure

Hi,

I am busy with my mid semesters examinations. I have the most difficult one tomorrow and I wanted to update an old article, I had written once, to save time but I cannot find it now. So, I am just writing a small one today. It is more like a diary entry as I cannot really think of something to talk about at this point of time. I always promise myself that I will study way before the exam next time but I always end up leaving it to the last day. I have always said I hate exams but inside I just love them. I believe they are the days of most activity and curiosity. They are just crazy, they never leave you pondering over things like ‘what is life?’, ‘ what is happening around the world?’. It is like an escape from the ardous daily life. I hate them because i love them so much. I wish I could have exams every month, they should be made regular, instead of yearly or semester wise, they should go for something like monthly exams. 

Anyways this brings me to this one line which I heard yesterday, it was like, ‘ hum jahan bhi jate hain sochte hain ki change aa gya hai, ab enjoy krenge, par hota aisa hi ki us change ko hi hum apni life maanne lagte hain aur bs fir usi mein hi reh jate hain.’ I think that is why i like exams, tehy break the monotony of daily classes and everything. They bring in some kind of zest and activity which we miss on normal days. Anyways, I am leaving it at this point. I did not want to lose my challenge, so I had to write something. This might be abrupt or senseless but this is all I had today. 

Two of a Kind

This one I clicked very recently. I am just sharing it becaue the background and she compliment each other beautifully. It is a perfect example of two entirely different things coming together and completing each other, they are two parts of a whole. That is how relationships and parnterships are meant to be. Two people with varied inclinations, hobbies and attitudes fall in love and fill the voids, which would have never been filled otherwise. Though one thing I don’t get is, why with time they fall apart?? Is it suppose to be temporary or the conditions which once brought them together are now pushing them away as well. A big mystery, why do we fall in and out of love so often? This ‘forever’ concept does not gel in with the over all reality of life. The beauty which romantic novels or movies create around this ‘forever’, does it even exist in real life? I have not really seen it, so I should not be the one answering it. But this does not mean I can not ponder over it. Being a fan of classics like ‘Gone with the wind’, ‘Pride and Prejudice’ and ‘ Anna Karenina’, I had always hoped of finding something like this in my life too. And I must confess this that I have failed hopelessly. Either, I expected too much  or it was a fairytale only, which never really existed. 

Too many injustices

I have too many things going on my mind right now. Bt i need to choose one so as to continue writing. Well, I think this pne is worth discussing, the National Family Planning Programme run during the emergency by Indira Gandhi and Sanjay Gandhi, is quite infamous. I had read about it time and again. But today I came across this article ( I have an exam tomorrow, so it was part of syllabus), probably a research paper by an author called Emaa Tarlo, which talked about how notorious it became with time.

First of all, it was not just forced sterlizations, it was the added punitive measures like forcing your friends, family and strangers to go through sterlizations. Sanjay Gandhi the force behind this evil setup, forced DDA( delhi development authority) to offer plots for rehabilitation only to those who would get sterlized or would motivate others to go through it. Not just common people but government servants were also forced through it, they either had to do it to themselves or to motivate others. This unleashed a different kind of violence where your very manhood or womanhood came under threat from society. It was the chaos of Hobbes’state of nature, the only difference was it was being imposed by the State itself, which is suppose to be a protector. 

Tarlo talked about this co-victimisation of people one at the hands of authority and other by their own folks. This violence was unjustified and unaccounted for, even today. When government can pay compensation to big corporates for their losses or politicians or bureaucrats then why the question of compensation for these victims of State violence never arose. But then the list of such victims is not small. There are too many around the world, who have been never given justice for the  genocides, with different facets, inflicted on them by thier own protectors. 

It is our judgement that defeats us

‘It is our judgement that defeats us’, when Marlon Brando (Colonel Kurtz) says this to Captain Williard (Martin Sheen), i was left speechless. This is the biggest anathema faced by people today. Being judged or being judgemental kills the whole adventure.

Let me explain with an example, I like a boy and I am planning on telling him. But before me somebody has already told him about my intentions. From that time onwards he has been contemplating what his reaction should be? He is also getting judgemental about my actions withouht even giving me a chance to tell him anything. This will ruin any chance of having a good relationship. This is a very naive and childish example but this problem of getting judged, has come up in every day experiences of life. 

This very thing, being judgemental, which we hate, we are its’ greatest vicitims too. I am not saying I don’t have this issue. I am just looking for a solution. Let me tell you about another instance, I have seen this girl many times on campus, she has not waxed any of her body parts, like legs or arms and she continues to wear shorts, skirts etc. etc. There is nothing wrong about it. But I could not help myself from staring at her again and again, first few times I saw her. I don’t want to have any opinions about her as I don’t even know her name but I can not help it. I am sure many people face this when they don’t even want to do it yet you  have no power over it. 

I might be wrong about the sense in which Kurtz said this but that is how I feel about judgements. It is very easy to say that I am not judgemental but it is very hard to not to be. Infact, I feel it is impossible. I can never go without making opinions about someone I meet the first time. And, i do that most of the times. In the end, I can onlys say, you cannot stop your mind but yeah what can do is to not to impose your judgements on others. Atleast not make everything uncomfortable for you, not so comforting for others too, will not set a good example. 

The Good in the Bad

There is some good in every bad. That is how i felt today when I saw her.

I met her today around 5 pm, in front of central library. I have never seen someone as pretty as her, so I had to take a picture. She was calm and composed and even posed for it. She just sat there and did not move at all when I clicked her  4-5 times, not even an inch. Once I was done, she flew away. 

I said yesterday,  I was not in a very good mood and then she  came and lifted my mood up. Perhaps if I had not been this pensive, I would have never got a chance to see her and would have just ignored her. So i guess there is beauty in everyone and everything and in every situation. What matters is how much time you take to realize it? I have missed so many things in life because I failed to see the good in them on time. 

I might regret those failed times today but I have lost them now and perhaps they will never come. It is not like I will not get any opportunities now but bygones are bygones. And, i feel there are so many like me who miss on things because of their hindsight, try to reason, try to test the boundaries. Do not make hasty decisions based on what you see? Reality is conflictual and not always very clear, see beyond the way things are being presented to you and you will never miss the right time. 

Gud luck to all!! 

Hannah Arendt

I am too tired today and not in a very good mood. So I do not have much to say today. I have started watching this movie on Hanah Arendt which was released in 2012, i wish i could watch it in english (only option is subtitles).

Though, I feel sleepy but I am pretty sure this movie is going to add something to me ao i will go back to it. 

People have always told me it is difficult to understand her but I am giving myself a chance to know more about her. She intrigues me. Anyways I think this is enough for today, will write back tomorrow and I will deifinitely talk about ‘What. Adolf Eichman’s trial was all about?’ Or what made Hannah talk about ‘banality of evil’. 

You never stay the same!!

It feels good when you do not feel negative about anyone and anything. This is one of those days, when you only feel pleasant. No hard feelings!! I had a hearty chat with two very impportant ( well, for me atleast) people.

And all this made me wonder about one thing ‘why do we get so negative and that too so often?’ Years back, when I was in the first year of my engineering, one of my friends gave a glass of water which was half filled and asked me to describe it? I said it is half empty. And she told me this explains that you tend to get negative easily. Before that I had always thought pf myself as a very positive person. I brushed it off with a joke but over the years I have recalled this incident again and again to judge others and myself. 

She was not wrong I am negative but I guess we all are. There are days when I am not in the mood and I see glass as half empty and then there are days like today, when I see the glass as half full. And, I have only been able to make one conclusion that there will be both kind of days in life. So better not put you through this tough binary and try to always think of yourself as a positive person. It is just the attitude that matters and it evolves over time. You won’t be always the same. 

Art of Speed Reading

No

Clue! 

What do I write about!? 

Yes, I could talk about the art of reading books in a small amount of time. As you know there are infinte number of books on the earth and as a lover of reading, I would want to read all of those books (there are many like me who would think along those lines). But how can I finish all these books with so much to do and such a short life. 

So, I have a trick to read fast, which one of my teachers shared with me. It is very simple and it hardly takes an hour or so, if interesting it may take more time. And trust me I am not talking about novels, those books can be mostly judged by their summaries available online these days. This one is about reading books on varied genres politics, sociology, philosophy etc. etc. You go througj the introduction chapter and further as long as you are able to find the main argument the author is trying to make. Once you find it, you can go to the conclusion chapter to find something to support that argument. Or you can read first two paras of every chapter after introduction so that you get a rough idea of how he proves his point. 

If it would be a good book, you would bother reading it fully. But if it is an avearage book, this activity will save you a lot of time for good books. You will get the crux of the book in much less time and you could always count it as one of your read books. 

I am reading ‘Sophie’s World’, i will write about it once I finish but so far I have liked it. It is simple yet conveys such deep thoughts. 

Try this activity for yourself. Happy reading!! 

5th day with love

This another beautiful movie which I bothered to watch today, made my day. ‘Once again’, like us kids, why can not our parents or elders fall in love again? Why is it such a taboo to think of our mother or father being in love again? Why relationships or love should be felt for only and one person? Why do marriages have to be so sacrosanct that developing feelings for some one other than your partner or husband, should be considered infidelity only? Why can’t I love more then one men at the same time or may be fall in love again? 

This is the story which Shefali Shah and Neeraj Kabi, try to tell through this simple story and their beautiful acting. Story of two people, who have lost their partners, finding a companion in each other. Their love is no different from the one younsters experience. Waiting for calls, looking forward to meet ecah other, butterflies whenever you see him, try to look extra nice for him and etc. etc. Shefali and Neeraj have not inhibited in expressing what they felt for their new found love. 

But as all stories do not end on the same happy note like reality, Shefali’s son does not accept it with an open heart, just like the society. They fight, they move apart, they long for each other but when they could not, just like us, how we are rebellious  in our 20s or 30s and fight for pur lovers, they also make a valid decision to stick together. There is this dialogue in the start which says, ‘Samandar itna pass hai fir bhi itna door kyu’. It suggests  love is so near  to us but because of this society we never accept it with an open heart.

Marriages or families are suppose to make a man feel welcomed in this world and not to choke their breath by not letting them love freely. I like Periyar’s idea of ‘self respect marriages’ a lot, may be our Indian society does not need a Uniform civil code or a hindu marriage act or Sharia. But it does need somehting on the lines of Periyar’s idea. These affiliations are made to set women free and not to clip their wings. Let us give our elders, who find love late, to feel it and express it joyously. 

The Fourth Day

So today is the fourth day, I wanted to write so many things but I am too tired and won’t be able to say much.

Yes, the political situation in JNU has escalated too much. There is a curfew like situation. We have been asked to not to go to any other hostel (other than your own) past 10 pm. And also there are some rumours about closing down the library every day at 11 pm. All this is unbearable. It is so much against the JNU culture. In the past year, I have found that this is the place (in India) where you realise your freedoms to the fullest. I can walk around the campus and take the silent, woody, forest like paths to be anywhere anytime without an iota of fear. This safe I had never felt anywhere else and now that safety, independence is under danger. Ofcourse, it is unbearable. I curse the people who played this dirty politics to bring JNU down to this condition. 

Anyways i am off to sleep, see you tomorrow.