The more I think….

The more I think, the more I feel weak
The more I hate my present state
What if I could just shut my mind for once?
And work without a second thought
Perhaps that will buy me the peace I want
The more I think, the more hopeless I feel
Work I am doing looks more like burden
But I see everyone around doing the same in a mechanical manner
Have they locked their minds to the graveness of this job?
Or they enjoy the work unlike me
Whatever may be the reason, I am envious
The calm I see on their faces is what I crave
May be for once if I shut my thoughts I will attain that serenity ….

And here arrives another controversy for media to thrive on: Sheena murder case

With the new revelations in the Sheena Bora murder case and Indrani Mukherjea getting arrested, the whole Indian media has struck a new cord to increase their TRPs. Yesterday only it was Jasleen Kaur and Saravjit Singh being played again and again on your TV screens and today it is the mystery queen Indrani.Is it because media genuinely cares or the made race for more ratings is driving them to this stage of eccentricity. When stock market is down and rupee is losing its value, the only thing our favourite watchdog cares about is the filmy story of some high profile family. Who knew Indrani and her long list of husbands before today? No one and now the whole world know them and their story of life which will not add anything to their lives or intellectual level.Suddenly the rocketing onion prices, mudslides in Mizoram and militancy are of no concern. The only definition being given to journalism at this point of time is sleazy reporting. Are news channels and newspapers ought to entertain us or inform us? For such stories where murder, suspense, sex and drama are involved, we can always watch a movie or a serial. Why media is offering us the same shit by blending it with the idea of ‘Janta Ki News’. 

Are women the new masked devils?

One day it is a boy who is terrorizing a girl and the other day it is a girl defaming a boy with false claims. This recent story of Jasleen Kaur is disturbing as well as inspiring if she is genuine. Truth is not always what you see and i think that is what is happening in this incident. Is the reason behind this drama, the political aims of the girl? That is yet to be decided but for that truth has to be surfaced which is not easy.

Women are never safe in India, which is something no one can deny. But who is responsible for this stature of women. Yes, the reality is that women are turning out to be women’s enemy. Be it a dowry case or a fake molestation claim, women are degrading their own origin. Nirbhaya rape case was a crime which acted as an eye opener but now even the cases deadlier then that have lost their credibility because of one simple reason and that is women taking advantage of the judicial system. Who is to be blamed: the system, men for always demeaning women’s existence or women themselves for using the system for selfish interests.  

‘The Truman Show’— one smile which I will never forget

 A man so naïve, gorgeous and funny in his own way blew my heart away with his one innocent smile in this truly amazing movie. I have never seen something so interesting, disturbing and humorous at the same time.My devotion to this crazy star, Jim Carrey started the day I sat down to watch his movie with a friend during my IIMC days. We had exams coming up and this was the day everyone was out partying so even we ordered pizzas, it being our only option to food and snacks. I wanted to watch a movie which was set in modern times and not in 80s and 90s but on my friend’s insistence who loved to experiment with his movie choices, we decided on ‘The Truman Show’. I hated him then but I am glad he made me watch it that day.First ten minutes I was dying of boredom because I didn’t concentrate. And then the magic of Truman started to absorb me, there and then I realized something is fishy behind those regular routines and awesome looking backgrounds.Yes, I was not wrong everything was a set up to accommodate this TV reality star Truman Burbank. He had no idea that from his birth to his present he never had a real life in fact his destiny was in his audiences' hand rather than his own. It was a true example of world as a force conspiring against one childlike soul.And that godly smile on his face, he flashed it in every other second without even realizing that not only his wife, best friend and close ones but his own mother was also, a part of this heinous plot.How you will feel, if you realize that the life you lived all this while was a stage setup? Even the stuff he ate was some sort of product advertisement. All the people he met in his daily routine were some stage actors. Man, I feel so bad when I see him making love to a lady who has taken vows with him but in reality she is just playing the part of an onscreen wife. The whole neighborhood and also the whole city is playing its part to hide this reality of his life so that their source of entertainment doesn’t escape. This movie made me realize how cruel this world can get and in the end it is all money that matters.
As we watched it online and I missed the last 20 minutes of the movie, which were not available anywhere on internet. I am still not aware of what happened next and how those nasty people made up for messing up his life. But without even going to the end, I can say that it was the most beautiful thing and the most exotic smile, I have ever come across.

Am I repenting?

Once again I am sitting and wondering is this the media life I imagined? When I joined IIMC, I thought this would be one thing that I will never regret. Am I repenting my choice? Do I regret? It is difficult to answer this. I feel like an injured bird when I sit on my desk every day.  I want to fly but my wings have been chipped, I can take a flight but I will always end up falling.

Someone said to me few days back that you have a tendency to be never satisfied with your achieved goals. According to his interpretations, I have an exploring soul which has not taken many births and is exploring this world through me. Am I and my soul different? Aren’t we one and suppose to work in cohesion.

Even if my soul is exploring, what if I want to get settled? Every new day gives me a new idea and new hope. With every passing day that idea passes away and again I start my hunt. Will this fight for my inner thirst ever end? Or I will continue to haunt myself waiting for that gratification to reach me if I am unable to achieve it.  

Why it was ‘them’ and not ‘me’?

Why it was ‘them’ and not ‘me’?

Whenever I see them looking captivating in their dress, it hurts.

Whenever I see them uploading their status with DLTGH (days left to go home), it upsets me.

I ask myself there and then why it was ‘them’ and not ‘me’.

Whenever I see their tanned skin, an evidence of their harsh training, I feel jealous.

Whenever I see those proud eyes, telling the story of their adventures, I feel dejected.

I wonder why it was ‘them’ and not ‘me’.

When I know I could have been there, I feel aroused.

I wish to know when I had the potential equal to theirs,

What made me so unlucky and unworthy?

Every minute I dream of that place, myself in those pictures.

And then I ask myself why it was ‘them’ and not ‘me’?

I make up dreams to instil myself into those moments

I was ready to give up everything like them, then why I was not the chosen one.

Why it was ‘them’ and not ‘me’?

I see their watsapp unused for days and I feel like unblocking all.

I see them posting on facebook and I start requesting facebook to add an unlike button.

I see and I wonder why it was ‘them’ and not ‘me’.

When I see them in those events, dressed as officers, I feel horrible.

Whenever I see them uploading their pictures on Facebook, I curse.

I look for reasons which will answer my question that why it was ‘them’ and not ‘me’?

Whenever I imagine them saluting to their seniors, I feel wretched.

When I visualize them raising their revered caps, I feel unfortunate.

When I dream myself in their position, I feel worthless.

And there and then I ask God why it was ‘them’ and not ‘me’?

Sreesanth and three other players acquitted

How lame is Court's decision. When Ankeet Chavan confessed to these accusations in 2013, then on what basis this decision has been taken? If i remember correctly, I can quote a number of cases where an 'aam aadmi'(I am not talking about the Aam Admi league, which Kejriwal claims to be a part of) even after years of justification is lurking for justice. And in a case like this one, where even after a cricketer openly confessed to his fault, he is free to do whatever he wants.

Shahshi Tharoor made a point, which Britain needs to reconsider

At the Oxford Union, participating in a debate, Kerala MP Shahshi Tharoor bombarded Britain with facts and figures which will always make India stand out in front of Britain. The humorous speech, given by the MP made people laugh their guts out.

He pointed out how India was used as Britain’s largest Cash- Cow during those years of colonialism, will be marked in our memories forever. With utmost modesty he explained how Britain owes 1.25 Billion dollars to India since World War 2 days.  Debating on the reparation which Britain needs to pay to the countries it colonised, Mr. Tharoor very generously said that a sorry would have been enough. But the question that comes in here is that is Britain genuinely sincere in offering reparation to India?

If Britain was genuine in its intentions, then these talks about India doing economically better under Britain, would have never gone out. Mr. Tharoor countered this dialogue very intelligently. His opening that India’s share to world GDP was 23% before Britishers arrived and after they left we were on our worst low of less than 2%, was incredibly amazing.

If not this then what else could tell a better story of Indians. Not just the economic loss, also the mental trauma Indian’s went through was depressing. If you go by the history, then all the civil, tribal and peasant rebellions were a direct outcome of the oppressive nature of British rule.

Even if Britain agrees to pay in dollars for its repressive damage to the country, will India be ever able to recover from the exploitation it has been through.

http://www.abplive.in/india/2015/07/22/article659136.ece/Social-media-hit-Shashi-Tharoor-demands-reparation-payments-from-UK-for-colonial-rule

That girl looking for an umbrella

I was sitting near my train compartment window
Staring out at those black rooftops
Then I saw a little girl looking gay in her red floral frock

The sky was cloudy and the rain was about to start
She was looking for an umbrella allover in the house

Rain droplets were touching her two long plaits
She was scared of her dress getting wet
Her friends were waiting for her on the roadside

All set for school, but the poor umbrella was nowhere in sight
Her mother was washing utensils in the middle of that downpour
Finally she got up, went inside that black rooftop house

She came back holding a black umbrella in her hand
Seeing that a smile erupted on the girls face
She went out to her friends singing and dancing with that black umbrella in her hands

The irksome rain no longer worried that girl
And I sitting inside my compartment, unaffected by the rain shower
Looking for that happy girl was still dreading the rain without any valid thought

Joining this new corporate world

I am sitting in my office and wondering how far I have come. Is this the end ? If not the end then is it the final destination I was suppose to achieve.If life is a continuous adventure then where will this crazy path lead me too.
Am I happy and content ? Perhaps it is too early to answer these questions. But then you can realize your true happiness from the beginning of a journey itself . This daily journey from Gurgaon to office, in the metro and then going back in the mid of night, that is how my true corporate life has started. Contemplating the pros and cons of this place , I always keep evaluating my mental satisfaction in here.

I come and spend 13 hours of my day in here. This is the beginning but why this monotony of being clawed in a routine forever, threatens me. I have started to love this place and at the same time i have the ability to hate it too. Even at this age, when I have started earning, I cannot fully understand this love and hate relationship with my work.

I have always wanted to love my work. I never wanted a dependence on it. I want it to be my passion, and not as an escape from my loneliness. Hoping to forge some bonds here and looking forward to this change with hopeful eyes and not long sighs.

The easy world

We are so in love with gadgets and every comfort this technology has given us. We have come far ahead from those Stone Age days but what if someday an alien giant comes and scraps off our entire technology. Ripping up over server systems, destroying our sources of energy and leave us helpless with no hope to restart.

Will we be able to rebuild our times which were gifted to us by our ancestors?  I doubt, may be one day we will be able to start but it will take us years to forge that much of strength to restart. We are so use to the comforts we have been showered with that we have forgotten the essence of making an effort.

Not just the youth even the elderly these days rely on technology like never before. I am a economics student but I want to see how doctors treat a particular ailment. Let’s google it. We have 12000 results, choose the first five. Oh I have viral, this page tells me to take Amantadine and Arbidol. Is it an advantage or disadvantage, I fail to decide. Though I no more need a doctor but what if google is wrong.

This is what I call being blind folded by your comforts. Every profession has become dependent on web. I don’t have to make notes, I will study from internet. Wow. The need of books, acquiring knowledge and learning things rather than just referring to has been lost.

I think a time will come when I will ask a lawyer what capital punishment is. He will say wait and after searching google will give a reply, so it is a legal process whereby a person is put to death by the state as a punishment for a crime.

I mean have we become actually advanced or degraded ourselves to an even lower level.