Why it was ‘them’ and not ‘me’?

Why it was ‘them’ and not ‘me’?

Whenever I see them looking captivating in their dress, it hurts.

Whenever I see them uploading their status with DLTGH (days left to go home), it upsets me.

I ask myself there and then why it was ‘them’ and not ‘me’.

Whenever I see their tanned skin, an evidence of their harsh training, I feel jealous.

Whenever I see those proud eyes, telling the story of their adventures, I feel dejected.

I wonder why it was ‘them’ and not ‘me’.

When I know I could have been there, I feel aroused.

I wish to know when I had the potential equal to theirs,

What made me so unlucky and unworthy?

Every minute I dream of that place, myself in those pictures.

And then I ask myself why it was ‘them’ and not ‘me’?

I make up dreams to instil myself into those moments

I was ready to give up everything like them, then why I was not the chosen one.

Why it was ‘them’ and not ‘me’?

I see their watsapp unused for days and I feel like unblocking all.

I see them posting on facebook and I start requesting facebook to add an unlike button.

I see and I wonder why it was ‘them’ and not ‘me’.

When I see them in those events, dressed as officers, I feel horrible.

Whenever I see them uploading their pictures on Facebook, I curse.

I look for reasons which will answer my question that why it was ‘them’ and not ‘me’?

Whenever I imagine them saluting to their seniors, I feel wretched.

When I visualize them raising their revered caps, I feel unfortunate.

When I dream myself in their position, I feel worthless.

And there and then I ask God why it was ‘them’ and not ‘me’?