Day-67 An anti-national dream

Dreams can be really weird at times.

So yesterday salman khan came into my dream. I don’t know what is happening these days, weird things. And he said something which i would never expect him to say. But after all it was a dream only. 

It was like this that we met through a friend who knew him or was related to him( which in reality is not possible, none of my friends know him). He is busy hosting a show and suddenly there is need of someone who could speak fluent hindi. So we are with him at that point of time and he asks us to read a part. I being confident that my hindi is not that bad, start reading from the paper. On the very 5th word i get stuck and then it turns out to be too hard for me to read further. I tell him i cannot, embarrassed about it though. And, he tells me Machiavelli has said that one who does not knows their national language cannot ever be a true nation loving person. And i ask him when did he say that? And he says in his book ‘The prince’. I don’t know whether Machiavelli ever said anything like that or not. But this dream is ‘Adbhut’.

I was stunned. Did he actually say that to me? Wow and there and then it ended because i woke up after that. I don’t know what it was. Still shocked. 

Some thoughts on marriage

I was going through my notes. Found this! I thought i have not posted anything like this so now is the time. I don’t know when i will see it again. I am not sure why i was so frustrated that day because what ever i have written sounds very aggressive.

Marriages are supposedly made in heaven. While sitting in the garden of this lavish marriage palace waiting for the feras to get over and contemplating what made this guy choose this girl, all I could conclude is bullshit. No body can guess a person in one or two meetings. It is like looking for a roommate through your parents. You can change your roommate but can you do the same with your groom or bride.

Then why the procedure of looking for a partner is similar to the one’s we use while looking for a roommate or a flatmate. Give an ad in the paper, ask your friends and relatives. Finally somebody comes to your door, you meet the person, confirm his details and make your decision. Now you start living together. What if that person is not able to live up to your standards? you part ways after the minimum contract is over and start looking for another one.

The same way people chose their prospective clients life partners. You give an ad, join matrimonial site, ask your friends or relatives, and offers start pouring in. You meet some, meet their family, make an enquiry and make your final decision. This is how marriages happen. But once you start staying with each other, you start to know each other. What happens later is either you adjust or you donot, either you are happy or you compromise or you chose to leave. But is it easy to leave? The legal hassles, the emotional hassles and moreover the problem of societal face value.

I am not trying to say that one should not divorce fearing the society and all the problems stated above like divorces do happen in love marriages also. 

But the concept of arranged one is very rudimentary and should be given up as soon as possible. Let’s give our young ones, cocooning fresh out of their shells, a chance to make this adult decision. Of course, post marriage also they are going to make big decisions. Parents should let their cubs fly and chose their partners wisely so that they will not regret it later in life.

Thanks

Day 66 - i love sunny days

This year winters are long. Last year by this time winters had already descended. I remember last year on holi which was on 2nd of March i was sweating the whole day because of the heat. It is already 7th of march and there is no sign of summers. Nights are so cold that it is hard to go out without a jacket.

I love sitting under the sun and for few days now i have been missing it, either i get up late or because of the rains there is usually no sun. 

Well finally today i enjoyed sitting under the sun. I got to see it after days. The wind was blowing as well so it was little chilly but pleasant. No matter how uneasy or uncomfortable i get in summers. No matter how much i sweat in summers and no matter how cold and cosy the winter blankets are. I will always be a summer person because i just hate cold days when there is no sun and usually you are forced to sit inside under your blankets. I am a big fan of long walks and i hate going on walks in winters because i cannot stand the cold. I feel winters make you lazy whereas summers make you active and crazy. Well holi is on 22 or 23rd i guess this year, so let’s see how summery is it going to be? My mom says this year winters are going to last longer may be till May. I don’t mind that much if sun will come up every day on time. 

Day 65- Kafka’s The Trial

How do i start again? When i had already written it once but it got deleted as my phone hanged for a while.

Well, i will tell you the whole story again. Two days back by chance i went to this book sale and bought few new books. One of them was Kafka’a The Trial, the book has his other stories as well so it was a bargain for me. So yesterday the whole day was spent reading him and some of it today as well.

I have been his fan for a long time, ever since by chance coincidence i read his ‘The Metamorphosis’. It was much later that i got to know that he inspired many latin american writers like Gabriel Garcia Marquez and others towards a new form of literature (or whatever it is called) called ‘Magical Realism’. Marquez’s famous book ‘100 years of solitude’ was based on Magical Realism only. The idea for which he got from Metamorphosis. 

Coming to the trial. I gifted this book to someone sometime back but never got a chance to read it myself. So yesterday was the day. It started off very simple, like one morning Mr Joseph K. wakes up and he finds that his landlady has still not brought his breakfast which is unusual. The day starts of simple but it turns out to be his worst nightmares. It turns out that he is under arrest for some trial but he cannot be given the details of the trial. The story starts of from nothing and ends on nothing. The whole time i was waiting to see what the trial was all about and it is never revealed, not even at the end. At that point only i realized that it is a satire on the law, courts  and justice system. Mr. K. is wronged in this case, he is never told what the charges are and still he is going around lawyers, courts and judges to make some sense out of everything. The court is disguised like a secret police which is everywhere but no one knows what it is doing but once you get stuck in it, you will not come out unscathed. K. like many others is lost in this mess like people are lost in today’s justice system. People are made to run around for things around lawyers, courts and police, when most of it is mostly incomprehensible to them.

It was a great book. It said so much without saying much. It is a literary masterpiece. I have always been awed by his writing style which is so mysterious yet so simple. I always loved his other works as well but not his short stories. This might be because it is not easy to comprehend so much from such short stories or i am not capable of understanding them.

Anyways it was a day spent well, day spent reading Kafka.

Fucked up Life in a fucked up world

It is a happy picture.
My watsapp, facebook dp.
But is it me everyday? No, i guess not.
Then why do i put up a happy face for everyone around?

It is a sweet smile.
I flash it to everyone i see everyday.
I have it on my face every day.
But is it me everyday? No, i guess not.
Then why do i not frown when i see people i don’t like?

It is a formal ‘i am good’.
My mother calls me up everyday and asks this question.
I reply with a good everyday.
Then why do i say it even on days i am not good?

It is an excited hi and a follow up conversation.
I have few of these everyday.
I do not like or feel like doing them everyday.
Be it with family, boyfriend or friends.
Still i do.
Then why do i do it when all i want to tell everyone is to shut the fuck up for a while, for a day.

It is a formal empathy.
I see someone sad and i try to console them.
I tell them i feel bad for them.
I do not agree with them at all or i am not pained with their pain.
Then why do i not smile over their face and just leave them where they are?

It is a fucked up life, fucked up world.
Too many faces, too many characters, too many smiles too flash.
Not one means truly anything.
Still i have to do it everyday and around everyone.
Because i live a fucked up life in a fucked up world.
And, I cannot just escape all this.

Pseudo Social Justice

https://indianexpress.com/article/opinion/columns/pseudo-social-justice-reservation-quota-demand-ews-minorities-5580908/

Day 64- Beauty of travelling lies in the journey, not in the destination

I was growing through someone’s post which said the beauty of travelling lies in the journey. And it took me back to all those times when i have avoided travelling because i hated sitting on a seat for hours and hours. 

I would keep checking my phone and distance on google maps. I never tried to look through the windows at the world which is not always at its best  but this where it’s very beauty lies. 

It was not always like this. I still remember some of my bus and train journeys when i started travelling alone. I would revel in those lone journeys where i met some strangers and had wonderful conversations with them. In those few travels i learned a lot about things and peole. And then i started my job as a reporter, it took away all the fun away. I was made to roam around delhi the whole day with one week day off. I had seen Delhi, it’s routes, places, buildings. I went on the streets i would have never got a chance to see otherwise. But the problem was i was rushing through them to reach somewhere, there were time constraints and i never got to really see those places and roads. Because i was too busy thinking about the puropse i was going for i.e the destination. I never learned the true meaning of those lonely journeys. I was suppose to notice how wide the roads were, how green the trees were, kinds of people came across on those routes, learn their stories from their face. But i missed put on all this. I have never been able to travel with such enjoyment since then. All i am busy thinking is; what kind of person is sitting besides me or how much time is it going to take or how comfortable the seat is. I have lost my patience for long routes. It is sad sometimes. 

This makes me think that things you enjoy  should be treated as hobbies only and you should never make them your profession. Otherwise you will lose the adventure in them. 

Day 62: The idea of beauty, needs to be changed.

I was suppose to post it yesterday. Late post. 

I went to see a school friend today. She is getting married in two days. And she being my school best friend. I had to attend her wedding. I went to her place as i was seeing her after almost 5 long years. 

It was her engagement day and she asked me to go with her to the parlour where she was to get ready. I went along as i wanted to spend more time with her. 

It turned out to be a waste of time. While she was getting her make up done, i was asked to wait at the reception. I did not mind because the place was bustling with people. It was full of ladies getting their make up pr hair done. And many of them were brides. 

And many of them came out after their make over was done. Trust me, i have seen someone from close for the first time with so much make up on. I was horrified, it did not look pretty. If makeup on you makes you a cake doll. I will never get such make up done ever. No offence but it might look good on pictures but up close it looks like as if you are looking at a china doll with colored lips and cheeks and eyes on a white crystal clear base. Ridiculous. If this is thr idea of beauty today, trust me i don’t want to see it anymore. Also where is the fun in looking like a china doll. 

Day 63- Yuval Noah Harari’s way of looking at life.

I finished Harari’s ‘21Lessons for the 21st century’ today.
I was looking forward to read this and this is the reason i searched online for websites where i could download ebooks online. Coincidentally, my sister gifted me the hard copy around same time. It is a keeper.

He is an amazing writer. He kept me glued to the book. I have tried reading his sapiens as well. In 21 Lessons, he posits the growing Research in artificial intelligence, global warming and biotech as few of those problems which cannot be resolved within our closed borders. He argues that these are global problems which can only be resolved globally and not by hiding behind our nationalist garbs.
He has talked about religion, humanity, mind, god, reason, nationalism, culture and information etc, that are somehow shaping this world. But he says the kind of threats we imagine would come on us are not really the threats. They are far beyond our conception. Becuase we are wound up in the rhetoric build up by movies and fiction about future of AI and biotech. Accoridng to Harari real threat is somewhere else.

I liked it a lot. But i did find some issues, for example the way he criticises liberals conception of mind and reason. He tries to sound rational and then makes everything spiritual by going on to buddhism to tell you how to tame our mind. Because all our desires are not the desires of our mind which need to be controlled. This sounds very metaphysical and beyond one’s understanding.
Anyways i am looking forward to reading his other books.

Day 61 - Exploring things

It was a fun day. Which day? That day. Full of possibilities and full of life. Reading a new book. 

Best sites to download free ebooks online

Why is it important to write about this?

 I have been looking for places to download books and it caused me a lot of stress. I thought i should definitely share something on this. So here is a list of some of the places where i have been actually able to download books without going through any unnecessary hassles of creating an account and paying money. Hope they will work for others as well.

1. Library Genesis:

I foundYuval Noah Harari's latest books here. You might try it as well. Only problem isis they are torrent files.

2.EBOOK-DL:

This one I loved the most. It is very easy to use. One click and you can download the zip file. Mnay genres are available and magazines are available as well.

3. Project Gutenberg:

It is already very famous and very easy to use.

4. BookBoon:

It has books for all the academic subjects. So students will really find this useful to download new books.

5. Open Library: 

You should definitely explore this one.

These are the sites, which i have tried and they worked for me. I will add any new ones i might find in the future. To go to these sites just click on the name or just google them. Happy reading to all.