Thursday 7 March 2019

Some thoughts on marriage

I was going through my notes. Found this! I thought i have not posted anything like this so now is the time. I don’t know when i will see it again. I am not sure why i was so frustrated that day because what ever i have written sounds very aggressive.

Marriages are supposedly made in heaven. While sitting in the garden of this lavish marriage palace waiting for the feras to get over and contemplating what made this guy choose this girl, all I could conclude is bullshit. No body can guess a person in one or two meetings. It is like looking for a roommate through your parents. You can change your roommate but can you do the same with your groom or bride.
Then why the procedure of looking for a partner is similar to the one’s we use while looking for a roommate or a flatmate. Give an ad in the paper, ask your friends and relatives. Finally somebody comes to your door, you meet the person, confirm his details and make your decision. Now you start living together. What if that person is not able to live up to your standards? you part ways after the minimum contract is over and start looking for another one.
The same way people chose their prospective clients life partners. You give an ad, join matrimonial site, ask your friends or relatives, and offers start pouring in. You meet some, meet their family, make an enquiry and make your final decision. This is how marriages happen. But once you start staying with each other, you start to know each other. What happens later is either you adjust or you donot, either you are happy or you compromise or you chose to leave. But is it easy to leave? The legal hassles, the emotional hassles and moreover the problem of societal face value.
I am not trying to say that one should not divorce fearing the society and all the problems stated above like divorces do happen in love marriages also. 
But the concept of arranged one is very rudimentary and should be given up as soon as possible. Let’s give our young ones, cocooning fresh out of their shells, a chance to make this adult decision. Of course, post marriage also they are going to make big decisions. Parents should let their cubs fly and chose their partners wisely so that they will not regret it later in life.
Thanks

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