There are some days when you just lie down and think. Think about everything, think about others, think about things you do or you don’t do, think about your past, think about the present and the future to come.
Why do you do all this thinking? To change life, to retrospect, to delete things, to add things. No not for any of this. You think and you think hard when some decisions are to be made. I have been doing the same today. Unfortunately, i can never plan my decisions, they always have to be spontaneous, stupid and last minute. I have never made a single, conscious, well thought of decision in my life. But i want to change that today. I have decided that i am going to live like this only for another 6 months. And after that if i am not happy about it, i will change everything about it, A to Z.
Yes, what that change is going to be? I don’t know yet, let the time come first. Anyways talking about unplanned decisions, i have to tell you this becaue i forgot to mention this when it actually happened. I had this exam atleast a month back, for which i had to go to mathura, the same day from Delhi. I had a 6 clock train and as usual i did not sleep whole night because i knew in winters i cannot get up at 4.30 am. So i watched random movies all night and did not sleep because i was so sure that i can manage staying up the next day. By 5 i started to feel sleepy but by then i had to rush, because my cab was already at the door. So i thought to myslef that no problem i can manag e. I reached within ten minutes at the station and in that 10 minute ride, all i wanted to do was to sleep. When i reached the station and i was waiting for my train, i had an hour to kill. The weather was really cold and sleep was all over my mind. I called up two of my friends asking them should i go if i am this sleepy. They said you should definitely go. But by then i had made my mind. I just cancelled my ticket. Now i had no choice, i took a cab and went back to my bed, off to sleep. Now one thing which i don’t understand is why i wasted cab money and ticket money, if i had to end up sleeping only. I don’t know if i gain anything with all this or not but yes this hellish undecisiveness always cost me a lot.
Hope to see you tomorrow.
Why do you do all this thinking? To change life, to retrospect, to delete things, to add things. No not for any of this. You think and you think hard when some decisions are to be made. I have been doing the same today. Unfortunately, i can never plan my decisions, they always have to be spontaneous, stupid and last minute. I have never made a single, conscious, well thought of decision in my life. But i want to change that today. I have decided that i am going to live like this only for another 6 months. And after that if i am not happy about it, i will change everything about it, A to Z.
Yes, what that change is going to be? I don’t know yet, let the time come first. Anyways talking about unplanned decisions, i have to tell you this becaue i forgot to mention this when it actually happened. I had this exam atleast a month back, for which i had to go to mathura, the same day from Delhi. I had a 6 clock train and as usual i did not sleep whole night because i knew in winters i cannot get up at 4.30 am. So i watched random movies all night and did not sleep because i was so sure that i can manage staying up the next day. By 5 i started to feel sleepy but by then i had to rush, because my cab was already at the door. So i thought to myslef that no problem i can manag e. I reached within ten minutes at the station and in that 10 minute ride, all i wanted to do was to sleep. When i reached the station and i was waiting for my train, i had an hour to kill. The weather was really cold and sleep was all over my mind. I called up two of my friends asking them should i go if i am this sleepy. They said you should definitely go. But by then i had made my mind. I just cancelled my ticket. Now i had no choice, i took a cab and went back to my bed, off to sleep. Now one thing which i don’t understand is why i wasted cab money and ticket money, if i had to end up sleeping only. I don’t know if i gain anything with all this or not but yes this hellish undecisiveness always cost me a lot.
Hope to see you tomorrow.
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